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Tips to help you along the journey of infertility

Miracles take time… your time will come.

From the monthly pregnancy tests that come back negative, waiting to see a fertility specialist, undergoing preliminary testing, to beginning treatment; this can feel like an eternity when all you want so badly is to have a baby.  Somedays all you think about is why isn’t my body working properly?  You want your body to be “fixed”, to finally give your partner great news, and to be done with all this heartache.

The #1 hardest part of infertility is waiting and waiting teaches you something, it teaches you that miracles take time. It teaches you to hold onto hope and the fundamental characteristic called patience. This is not easy but it is valuable insight. You may not know the day, month, or year you will conceive but you should always tell yourself “I will be a parent, my time will happen”.

  1. It’s okay to NOT be okay.

Infertility travels with you wherever you go. From home, at work, to a night out with your friends, or a romantic dinner with your partner; those inescapable feelings can creep up and take over at any moment. Some days your heart may feel broken and unable to be repaired while other days you feel strong, determined, and hopeful.  The mental and physical challenges that are accompanied with infertility are forever changing so keep fighting each day for a chance to be a parent.  You will not regret it!

  1. You have heard the question “So do you want kids?”

This question will make you cringe. Gently express to the person you would love to have children and asking people questions like this may be hurtful, and inappropriate.  You don’t have to share your fertility story, but it may help those, who are less informed about the struggles of infertility, become educated on this common disease affecting men and women of all ages.

  1. How to deal with another pregnancy announcement

When you desire a child and are in the process of conceiving through fertility treatment, any pregnancy announcement causes unsettled feelings.  Do you have feelings such as envy, anger, hurt, or sadness? Do you have all these feelings? You can be generally happy for an expecting couple and be unhappy with your situation.  Could it be the anger you are feeling and knowing that one day you may not be able to experience this? It is the hurt and sadness you feel in your heart day in and day out.  Any pregnancy announcement is difficult to deal with and our advice to you is smile, rejoice, and remember that you do not know the situation of others. It is always okay to excuse yourself from the situation and take the time you need to cry, scream, or breathe – your choice.

  1. Social Media Break

Social media is a great way to connect with individuals and share stories of struggles and wins.  However, it can sometimes become overwhelming and lead you down a dark road causing heartache and stress. It is easy to compare your life with others, become resentful, and allow social media to influence your perceptions.  It is okay to remove yourself from social media platforms to regroup.  Focus on yourself and your journey no matter how dark your days get, there are better days to come.

  1. Self-care and Self-love

It is important to take care of yourself during your fertility journey. Take the time you need to heal your mind and body because you are more than just your fertility journey. Make sure to schedule in time for you and for your partner by engaging in activities such as getting a massage or going out for dinner.  Do whatever it takes to help manage your stress. If things get to be too much to handle on your own there are a variety of resources available for you, support groups, and the staff at Tripod Fertility can help.

  1. Be your own advocate

When you are going through infertility it is imperative that you advocate for your own health and treatments. Educate yourself by speaking to others who have or are currently going through treatment. Do your own research, and don’t feel bad if you go into your appointments with a list of questions. Remember, you need to have a level of trust in your physicians to lead you and your partner in the right direction.

  1. Surround yourself with fertility warriors

Surrounding yourself with individuals who are experiencing the same challenges as you and your partner can be a helpful tool when navigating your fertility journey. Having people who you can relate to, discuss situations with, or ask for advice can help with stress management and be a great support system for you. Building relationships and developing a support group can help you along the difficult roads. Remember, difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.

  1. Finding the right strategy may take time.

Infertility is a complicated process, and it takes time, tests, and treatments because it is often not a quick fix. As much as we don’t want to hear this; there are no guarantees. Keep your eye on the prize, keep yourself focused on your journey. The strategy and solution will be discovered. The sun always shines brighter after the storm.